I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
