Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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