you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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