she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
