She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
