Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
