im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
