You work out of a Hotel?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
