captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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