we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway