loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
YAS. BRING CRAB.