There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.