Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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