So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
