guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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