i barfeds in our rink
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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