IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
