do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
