Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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