I like to think it a success when the cops are called
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
