Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
