Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
