i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize