I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
