census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
