I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
