I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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