so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
