After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
