im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
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I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize