singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
