oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
