She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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