I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
