Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
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BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
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I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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