I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
