Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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