Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You are the jesus of drinking
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize