apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
