i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
