Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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