just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
