would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Please don't give away my fajitas
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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