your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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