the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
