"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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