So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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