a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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