last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
