i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize