i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
