why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She announced her abortion via fbk
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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