Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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