oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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