gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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