she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
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i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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