spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
