Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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