thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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