some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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