i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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