Can i not drive my cunt home
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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