so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
