Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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