so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
