i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
